Barry Don’t Need No Lame Ducks In Session…

When he has this FCC (and its cherry picked ‘commissioners’ or is it ‘commisars?’ I keep getting those words confused) to barrel ahead with NET NEUTRALITY.

Using my ‘Mom Skillz’ I have learned to ALWAYS question the timing.  Of Everything.  Be it a small child who needs to ‘discuss’ at great length a missing peice of cake (kid, ‘so when are you going to bake a chocolate cake again, cause it was really good, but I didn’t get any?’) to a teen (teen, ‘did YOU back into something?’) .

Last week, while most Americans had turkey (the fowl, not the foul country)  and Black Friday bargain shopping on their collective minds.  And what did our ‘Feds’ do?  Why, even with the foreknowledge of Julian Assange SAYING ‘mark your calendars, set your watches, the next WikiLeaks drop occurs while America is in a turkey stupor…’ the FCC, HLS, FBI, and various others alphabet lettered agencies, saw fit to swoop down on 75 domain names and close them down…For outing CIA operatives? Disclosing sympathetic contacts in the in the MidEast?  Embarrassing our friends around the world?  NAH…the full, long arm SWAT Team like efforts of the US Federal Government came down on some music download sites (a little thank you to folks like Bruce Springsteen and  Jon BonJovi for the swell Obot fundraisers they had held?); bootleg handbag ops (I could say black ops, but so many of the bags come in ‘fun fashion’ colors and prints) that sold knock off Prada and Channel (Barky really mustn’t care about the suburban mom ‘vote.’) and, this one really hurts, sites like BornTrade that sold really sweet replica NFL/NHL/MLB/NCAA ‘stuff’ for cheap.

Whoa there, don’t we all feel safer?  Thanks and Happy Holidays!

No, with America resting easier (no freebies in the iPod, carried in mom’s ‘fake’ Dolce and Gabbana croc bag, while she carpools to pick up her kid, who wore his fake Crosby jersey to hockey practice).  Nope.  THAT CRIME RING IS OVEH!!!  Because using top line technology to pull the plug, grab the domain, of  THOSE sites could be done…BUT…not the prewarned, document drop of WikiLeaks on servers that reside in places like Ireland and Iceland.  Nope…our legal techies couldn’t ‘grab’ that; nor could they AFTER THE DROP STARTED…the emails and documents just kept leaking…

Which conveniently LEADS to Net Neutrality coming via the FCC.

FCC chair, Julius “Don’t Call Me Cesar” Genachowski, now thinks he CAN edict his way around Congress to achieve Dear Leader’s ‘Net Neutrality’ (and give you know who, the ‘Kill Switch.’)  By ‘edict’ they can regulate broadband the same way they regulate landline and cellular service.

How do they ‘tie’ (I would say ‘cross wires’ I am retro like that) together?  Well, the ‘progressive’ argument will, predictably, be made, that if only they had MORE control over the net, why those ‘secrets’ of WikiLeaks could have been stopped.  But we didn’t have the power…(they did…see the 75 Domain shut downs).

Its a ‘brilliant’ threefore for Team Obot…

1. Actual copyright laws were enforced (yes, we should NOT purchase knock offs); and fundraising ‘thank yous’ sent to the Democratic ‘base’ (rich entertainers, sports entrepreneurs).

2. Alot of Obot disses have been ‘served.’  The thin skinned one, in theory, ‘allowed’ the release of things embarrassing to everyone from Hillary to Sarkozy to ‘Bush’ operatives in the field.

3.  One and two can be added together to get the needed (its the thin skinned part again)  ‘shut down’ the web authority to rid the Administration of pesky internet detractors.  And THAT is the scariest part of all…can’t beat the Tea Party; can’t produce the BC or the college transcripts; or get over being tired of ear jokes; so ‘off’ goes the offending site.

Thanks, and Season’s Greetings to  Jules at FCC…Barky will send you a gift basket with iPod downloads, Channel and an ‘authentic replica’ Drew Brees jersey for your ‘heavy lifting.’

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