Gay Marriage Announcement? Don’t do it Chicago Style…

So our Dear Leader evolved, after reflecting, pondering, and realizing that that whole economy thing was going away…and decided to sorta endorse Gay Marriage.  Biden was even included (for once) as he got early Sunday talk show time to fire the first salvo (or bouquet) on same sex unions.  Toss in the Democratic Convention hosting state of North Carolina voting, a day later après Plugs appearance, AGAINST marriage being anything bua one man and one woman…and what’s Duh Won left to do?

Why turn to the loving arms of the media.  Who to give the exclusive” to?  Who best to share his “evolvement”? Should be a woman…with a BIG network, name recognition, proper ethnocentricity…who else but Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts!  Huh?  

The obvious choice was the one who told us Duh Won was the one we were all waiting for.  OPRAH WINFREY…the woman who launched all things “0” back in 2008.  Since then, the Original “O” has fallen on some hard multi-media times. Her own OWN has lost $300 million (makes a dip into the available. Ampaign donation funding one or Won could guess).  What better way to help an old Chi-Town friend than to give HER the interview?  

And just WHO could do a Gay Marriage show better than Oprah?  There’d be tears, she’d have tissues.  Her audience could have snacked on sugarless, low-fat, gluten free (gottta keep Michelle happy!) wedding cakelets. Gift bag “favors” under each audience member’s seat (Barry could gift a few Government Motors Chevy Volts!); confetti; a balloon drop!!!  It woulda be awesomely fantabulous…Shep Smith would cry himself to sleep watching his dvr’d copy…

But it wasn’t to be for Oprah…her failing network or audience.  It was a not so happy “marriage” announcement….Chicago style.

 

 

 

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Dusting Off the Cobwebs…

Ok, so i really don’t dust.  I bow, in Obamalime fashion, to the Swiffer.  But same idea…going to try this blogging thing again.  Even if it IS from a touchscreen phone and even if I don’t find as much humor as I used to.  I actually did type (and erase) “I don’t feel funny” but that’s not true.  I’m somewhere in the hyphen between “peri” and “menopause” so I ALWAYS FEEL FUNNY in a hormonally tangled way.

Hitting “post” and hoping for my Contrarying best…

 

 

Cain Versus the unAble

Now that I have explained why I have been away, let me explain why I set up a fan…yes a fan…to direct air at my hissing, clicking laptop…

Herman Cain, per a Zogby Poll taken AFTER the Orlando Republican Primary Debate but BEFORE the Florida Straw Poll is AHEAD OF MEDIA FAVES Rick Perry and Myth Romney. Cain registers a healthy 28 percent of registered, likely to vote, Republicans…and full ten points ahead of his highly coiffed, blow dryed challengers. http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=46473

This is huge.

The media (the drive bys, the lames, the late night comics) all have kinda winked at Mr. Cain. Being ‘progressive’ they had to keep their criticism of the nice (real!) African American challenger to a minimum…being that they don’t want to be (ever) called ‘RAAACIST’ (that title saved for those who disagree in any way shape or form with Barry Soetaro). Oh of course…there was the random ‘pizza’ joke…but it was all in multi-culti good fun.

Now…given the cultural and societal outrage that the Tea Party supports a non-melanin challenged true Conservative, and that possibly a we could, ACTUALLY wind up with a highly intelligent, self made, private sector successful, rocket scientist who actually knows how the Fed works, and expresses all with grand oratory skills (no teleprompter in sight!) African(actual)American President, Herman Cain…the media is, of course, still touting Perry and Romney.

They do know how to pick ’em don’t they?

The Media has sanctioned, it just has to be a ‘blown dry’ candidate (somewhere John Edwards weeps) to challenge Duh Won in 2012. It just can’t be another guy who gets styled with clippers (and that means you too Ron Paul!).

Cain is EVERYTHING that the media stated Obama ‘is’ but in actuality is NOT.

Born in Tennessee, raised in Georgia (he’s American!), he went to Morehouse College and Perdue University (he has transcripts!) graduating with a degree in Computer Science and worked for the US Navy as a mathmetician on Ballistics programs (a grand understanding of the Second Amendment). He retired from the US Navy and went into the private sector CocaCola, then Pillsbury (taking over their Burger King division) which lead to his successful turn around of Godfather’s Pizza. Then a stint as the CEO of the National Restaurant Association. My guess, ALL done without any benefit of a staple gun or ACORN rounded up voter mob.

Sure in Obama’s world Cain is a greedy capitalist…but there was that period of time he spent on the Board of the Kansas City branch of the Federal Reserve…hmmm…what kind of tingle will this spend up Chris Matthews’ leg?

Cain IS the anti-Obama. The Real Thing (no wonder Duh Wonder co-opts Pepsi’s logo)…so just wait for more media coverage of…ahhh…well, John Huntsman has nice hair.

The Summer of My DisConnect…

It wasn’t planned.

It isn’t some grand sociology type quest (can she live without the Internet?)…no…it was the perfect storm (ha…if you ONLY KNEW)…of hail damaged roof and siding; coupled with failing health (DH’s) and major and minor appliances (we are still without a microwave–I am just sooo very ‘retro’). Toss in (for good measure) one newly driver’s licensed teenage son; another son having summer college course work (to get enough credits to take another semester of college course to get his degree. Putting on my NCAA officially licensed foil cap, transferring from one college to another is a nefarious plot by educators, to keep their ‘own’ liberal arts majors employed. Who knew College Writing would be ‘unacceptable’ as a transfer credit…do invididual colleges really write that differently???)…but I digress.

The too expensive to replace the battery in the three year old laptop (it only works plugged in) over heats with a wonky, clicky fan (that is also too expensive to replace)…so…

I spent the summer cyberly silenced.

I can’read’ blogs and news on my phone, but in true Contrarian karma patterns, my TrackBall doesn’t track…so posting from my phone didn’t workout. Nothing like typing a couple hundred words on tiny BlackBerry keys only to NOT have the cursor be moveable to ‘post.’

Laptop is kept ‘off’ and only turned on when NEEDED (school work or bill paying). My interweb rants rate low on the familiar totem pole. We hope to have a new (at least to us) computer of some sort soon…but…I can’t promise anything. My refridgerator is eyeing me suspiciously…

I actually I’m blogging this from HANDWRITTEN notes…so I can type fast and beat the battery heat up. I want to explain my absence before I go onto my next post…

The Republican ‘field.’

Down in the Email Dumps…

What is a ‘JournoList’ to do?

After such noted standards of our free press (I know, I crack myself up too…) as the Washington Post and New York times RECRUITED rank amateurs, with only the qualification of ‘sufferer of Palin Derangement Syndrome’ and having ‘easy access to the internet, to review (ie., find ‘dirt’) in the 24,000 page Alaskan State Government email ‘drop’ of the twenty two months of the Palin Administration. At least Arianna Huffington allowed bylines when she used ‘unpaid’ (read in any other context but a Liberal forum, slave labor) contributors.

Along with the SWAT team of LaTimes, NYTimes, WaPo, SeeBS/ABC/NBC/CNN (msnbc couldn’t send anyone…the network didn’t have enough collective ‘Frequent Flyer Miles’ to make the journey northward) ‘rookies’ were assembled at the ready (and thereby decreasing the post counts at DailyKos and the DUmp) to find the dirt; to show how ‘stoopid’ this woman really is; to finally END her public career.

Rut roh…

The almost 300 pounds of paper print outs (what a carbon footprint that is!) instead show a hands on administrator, with a sense of humor and a concern for serving the people of Alaska. They show the former Gov. as tough on ‘big oil’ “Exxon’s Stalling Tactics Outrageous!”; a working mom texting with her kids (Willow texting mom that little Piper ‘needs a cell phone’ and she (Willow) needs some ‘cash flow.’ The most poignant, are the exchanges between Palin and those who wrote with their support and prayers at the expected birth of baby Trig and the the challenges/joys she would be facing “A Downs Baby Will Expand Your World”. Everything…typos, misspells included, is there. And, for the PDSers of the mainstream media…THAT is a disappointment. No ‘gotcha moments’ found.

But contrast the treatment the 22 month Governor of the 47th most populace state with the review made of the seven years of emails of (then) Illinois State Senator Barack Obama and, of course, the email release of US Senator Barack Obama.

(Insert sound of crickets chirping here).

Oh…that’s right. There has NEVER BEEN ANY EMAIL RELEASE OF ANYTHING BARACK OBAMA HAS EVER WRITTEN. Here is a wonderful thread, on FReeRepublic–please give Mr. Robinson’s site the pingy–that reviews from WAAAAAY back in 2007 that Lynn Sweet of the Chicago Sun Times (any paper cozier with Duh Won?) politely ‘asking’ for the release. “Emails, What Emails?”

The contrast is beyond stunning. It is TRANSPARENT. If you follow the FR thread to the Politico link from Noevmber 2007, you will find (for yourself) that the servers have been scrubbed (maybe all the cleaning up of what little Obama trail there is, really IS that promised ‘shovel ready’ job). Why? Just like looking for dirt on the undeclared Alaskan challenger is a ‘JournoListers’ duty…destroying the dirt of the Messiah is equally important.

You betcha.

Et tu, ESPN?

Anyone else have teenage sons? If you do, you probably know of Sports Center, Around the Horn, and nonstop baseball/football/basketball/hockey etc droning in YOUR house too…ESPN…where those who used to play (or can’t) talk about sport(s) 24/7…

But not in my house anymore. Or at least until one ESPN ‘talking head’ Kenny Maynes is either seriously reprimanded or outright fired. I am blocking all the ESPNs from my cable box. The gnashing of teeth and wailing will commence when THAT revelation is found.

Why? Why would yours truly want to alienate two of her offspring (who will each have a ‘vote’ on my nursing home)? Because of this:

href=”http://twitter.com/#!/Kenny_Mayne/status/79576974363852800″

Twitter…the opiate of the ASSES…

Mr. Maynes found it PROFOUNDLY funny to Tweet that he encountered a vehicle with a Palin bumper sticker…and had to refrain himself from ‘ramming it.’

Oh really? Someone who makes their living in the ‘media’ menacing over the free speech, on private, personal property of others? Wow…how did the DNC not hire Maynes over Washerwoman-Schultz???

Its ok, even ‘funny’ to threaten vehicular homicide in the name of political agenda? Maynes, after ESPN no doubt got ‘rammed’ with emails and calls, quickly retracted, sorta…in a dumb wannabe jock sorta way. ‘Its ok, I am looking for a President with a higher iq.’ Ken, hon, about that IQ issue…the former Alaskan Governor has not DECLARED her candidacy…but don’t let THAT stop you from a good insult. Intoning my own Dickie Vee….’ITS THE MISOGYNY BAY-BEE!’ because apparently, threatening bodily harm; possible death; and mayhaem on a middle aged white woman (and their supporters) is waaaaay cool and funny.

But what if the same ‘threat’ was made about a driver/vehicle bearing an Obama sticker? What if Maynes had questioned Barry’s ‘iq?’ First…the Secret Service would have paid a visit; the state issuing Maynes’ motor vehicle registration would be rescinding said paperwork; impounding said vehicles. A SWAT team would be used to accomplish this. US(efulIdiot) Attorney General, Eric Holder, would be holding Congressional hearings and looking into pulling ESPN (and all its variations) off the cables. Multiple black athletes would REFUSE to play their respective sports until ‘the Man’ got his respect. The Revrunds Al and Jesse would be on any and all talk shows ‘seeking reparations.’ Somewhere Tracey Morgan would smile and say ‘and I thought they went after me…’

But, meh…the comments were directed at a private citizen. A middle aged white woman…the very type who works the multiple jobs to pay that cable bill…so wrong.

And so long, ESPN.

You betcha!

St. Bono of Narcissi

In love with his image…or just the sound of his own droning voice…no one quite out Bob Geldofs Bob Geldof quite like Bono, the Patron Saint of Tax Avoidance. Out to save the world…or just save a big stinking pile of Euros, nothing says hypocrisy quite like a messianic rocker rolling the dough into foreign incorporations and tax domiciles.

Ouch. I guess the world DOES look different from behind funny blue sunglasses.

Later this month, the self proclaimed ‘citizen of the world’ (but taxpayer only in the Netherlands) will be rocked and rolled by UK protesters at the Glastonbury Music Festival when he takes the stage, not sure though if he will be appearing on a Sunday, Bloody Sunday. Some countries residents just don’t respect the ahh-thor-ahh-tay of a UN Ambassador.

Did he disappoint you? Did he leave a bad taste in your mouth? Did he come here to play Jesus…or just shelter annuities; fidiciaries; and the Euros collected from turning in the U2 tour bus Guinness empties? Bono, and his equally one word monikored sideman, the Edge (the other U too’ers are not as pretentious…they still use two word names) and mates moved the U2 mega corporation out of Ireland to the Netherlands in 2006 to avoid Ireland’s high tax rate. Never mind that the ‘native sod’ has been in financial spiral for over a decade…and the much needed revenue that U2 would provide is…ahh…about as missing as the Joshua Tree on the Emerald Isle.

But that is okay…because St. Bono, like so many, many, many OTHER ‘betters’ in the world today (think AlGore and GloBull Worming and Michelle Obama and Kobe/Lobester kabobs for starters) that PREACHES one thing…and well, does another. Routinely. It IS great to save the world…but use other people’s money doing it. Its wonderful to be an Irish national; but pay tax only in the Netherlands; while pontificating (its okay…he is a ‘saint’) about US elections…per Bono (but not pro bono–he is out to make a Euro!) we OWED the world a vote for Barack Obama…its just that HE doesn’t owe Ireland any tax money. With his bud, the not-officially sainted Geldof, Bono ‘created’ (not just schlocky music) but the uber earnest ‘Drop the Debt (on Ireland)’ and ‘Make Poverty History (for me and my peeps)’ “Foundations.” You can’t make this stuff up…but if you do…apparently the Edge will put a guitar riff to it.

I guess after all of these years, Bono and the boys FINALLY found what they were looking for. Its the Netherlands.

Insufficient Funds…

Well, well…it seems that the triple top secret weapon for re-electing Barry Soetaro is NOTHING as mundane as jobs; reduced Government waste and spending; or even Baracketology each spring. Nope. Its our beloved FLOTUS, Fashion Icon(tm), Reknowned Pediatric Nutritionista and all around Licenseless Legal Eagle, Michelle Antoinette Obama…

The crazy kids in the West Wing of the White Hut (who must be mainlining their Hopey Blue Kool Aid via IVAC drips) are convinced that MAO will drag Duh Won across the finish line, won more time.

Real Clear Politics, in a fawning peice

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2011/06/07/in_re-election_battle_obama_banks_on_first_ladys_appeal_110113.html

claims how beloved the Divine Mrs. O. really is.

I guess this banking decision/Obamamonics theory is as sound as any other they tried. Like redistributing wealth, proclaiming American devotion to a woman who has only, in the last few years been ‘proud of her Country for the first time’ (after moving into sweet government housing and exclusive use of gov’t transportation) works for them. After all…they have bought her vote(s) (all 14 Social Security numbers) and her parttime allegiance (‘whadda ya mean its not there, Biden don’t need to use AFToo this week…there is a belt sale at Rue 21’).

Who cannot wait for Mrs. Soetaro to show up in their town to tell them how vote; how to eat; and how to raise their children (hint…get staff). I get all tingly (oh wait…is that a symptom of eColi from the organic arugala?) just thinking about it. Mebbe she will squeeze YOUR town in between her upcoming African vacay and her next leg waxing.

Bank on it.

Rolling On to 2012…

You betcha!

First they came for her trash. A SWAT team of ‘journalists’ from the Lamestream media were dispatched, in August 2008 (I sure hope the Palin’s didn’t use odor guard bags) to Wasila, Alaska to ‘get the dirt’ (or used tissues and coffee grounds) of the Alaskan Governor. Whilst the ‘smartest, brightest, most impossibly geniuslike, did I mention smartest? man on the planet was cruising all 57 states proclaiming, Messiahlike ‘Hope and Change…’ unchallenged, unvetted, without a valid US Passport; college transcripts; or any apararent paper trail from birth on, we learned that someone in the Palin household likes Honey Nut Cheerios.

When that didn’t work…well, one brave mediaite, Joe McGinnis, rented the house next door. He was going to really and trully get the sleeze on ‘that upidity Palin woman.’ That move, while dirt free (though it has never been reported if McGinnis got his security deposit on the property back…the irony…instead of ‘finding dirt’ well ‘leaving dirt’) did spur the Wasilla economy–Todd and friends built a ten foot wolmanized fence to block the ‘journalist’s view’ into the childrens’ bedrooms.

After various meltdowns in the media of everything from precious little Trig’s MATERNITY!, to Bristol Palin on Dancing With Stars; to Track’s quiet wedding; with Willow’s speeding ticket thrown in for recent good measure…with all events Palin being scrutinized; blogged about; researched; analyzed at DNA level; it now has come to….

The paint job on the privately owned and licensed (to and by Todd and Sarah Palin) Tour Bus. Yes…when all else fails…go all MAACO or Earl Scheib on the former McCain running mate. MSNBC’s Martin Bashir (yeah, I don’t know who he is either) claims that the ‘image of the American flag’ on the Palin Tour Bus violates “Federal Law” because it shows an image of the American Flag (liberals hate the Flag til they need to love the Flag) along with some words from that pesky Constitution thingy… Yes…when they can’t argue with your policy; and they can’t defend their Messiah’s…well, they come for your vehicle’s paint job.

Keep on rolling Governor Palin…right to YOUR Inauguration…in your own Bus.

Edit from Mary…

Found this cool site, with FREE (for personal use NOT for sale items) page with Palin Downloads:
‘
http://essexandorange1773.com/download.html

My favorite…’Sarah of AK…’ (Think Joan of Arc…but its the bad guys going down in flames this time). You Betcha!

The SIGN(atory) of the Times…

Don't you just KNOW that if Barry had an 'I' in his first or last names that there would be a poofy basketball dotting it?

Its 2008?!?

Who knew? Or wishful thinking back to the days of Hope and Change; iconic columns; cheering crowds; and a Democratic controlled House and Senate?

Yesterday…while signing the Guest Book at London’s Westminster Abbey…our Dear Leader had another ‘Gaffetastic’ moment…that only the bravest of late night comics will dare mention. That is if any ‘break rank’ and poke any fun at his Earness (I am fearless!) at all.

Obviously OFF TOTUS (“Mr. President, you just sign and date the book…you can add a brief sentence if you like, Sir, but just sign and date…got that Sir? No Sir…its a small Nave the book is kept in…no room or logistics to set up the teleprompters…you will do fine Sir…ahhh, yes Sir…I do believe that Palin woman does infact sign books all the time”) another little ‘oopsy’ happened. Mr. Soetaro, showing his oneness with all things ‘International,’ ‘European,’ and ‘United Nationsiee’ signed the book 24 May…and then…well…inexplicably 2008.

Yes…in Barry’s head, its 2008. Too much Guinness the day before? A little head bump from the ‘Beast’ bottoming out whilst exiting the Irish Embassy? Or he really doesn’t know what YEAR it is?

W. T. F?

Me thinks (in my contrarian way) that Barry was just to ‘deep’ in admiration of his RockStar(tm) signature…that the little three year omission was made (though, it could be argued that MOST Americans and even Europeans would like to forget the last three years as well). Now…I say this because Graphologists (those who study the personality traits; nuances; and psychosis of the human mind via the penmanship of the hand) say that NOTHING is more personal that one’s signing of their name. Doctors have long been criticized for their poor penmanship (the idea being they are too busy and important to take the time to write clearly…so that ‘little people’ like nurses and pharmacists have to take their time to figure out what the doctor said–and give the doctor an out of ‘blame’ on said little peeps in the medical food chain if THEY misread the doctor’s scribblings…but I digress). The current Leader of the Free World looks as though many a tree was sacrificed in his search for the ‘perfect’ autograph.

The ‘big’ B with the squiggly, unreadable (you, you little peon person…’figure that line I drew out!) arrack…coupled with the ‘big’ O with the bama tucked neatly inside…well it looks like that took days, if not weeks of practice. I would guess hours went into the placement of the downstroke that is the lower case b in bama…(lean too much to the right…a subtle, Freudian statement of NOT being a true liberal…strike that b stroke too much to the left…and well it looks like the international “NO” sign). What is a RockStar(tm) to do?

So, with the pressure on, and after having to remember that mushy part about ‘common heritage’ (is he English now too?) the date, well the date just went to autopilot in Barry’s brain…after rocking out the big B, shifty snakey arack, big O with PERFECTLY placed mid big O downstroke lowercase b…followed by all three letters completing ‘ama’ well, it WAS 2008, as that was all too much ‘memory and theory’ for a former Harvard Law editor to master.

Just imagine if he had added (audible gasp) the Hussein part? Now…he doesn’t use his middle name because of Islamophobia, or even possibly the fear that the u could be made to look an ‘a’ …and then ‘ass’ would appear (and who among us with the most basic photoshop skills would make THAT happen?) on every order he signs…nope. Those aren’t the reasons why he only uses first and last names. Its because it just takes too darn long to dot that ‘i’ with the poofy basketball he uses.

At least this little incident has made one of the those heralded ‘shovel’ (Sharpie?) ready jobs…someone will have to be on staff now to remind Duh Won what year it is…I wonder who the Calendar Czar will be?